Tuesday, August 23
i swear i am never going to sleep past 12.30 ever again. less than 6 hours of sleep is just too much for me to handle(haha a puny irony). dint pay as much attention as i actually could and should in the lessons today, so it was sorta a waste. this shows that:
I NEED A TUMBLER.
not a tumblr as in a blog where i post pictures but a TUMBLER to put coffee. i really need my caffeine. i dont care if i can get reliant on it or whatever and it ttly isnt expensive cus i consume the instant coffee! but i think my mom wld disapprove of me spending money on ANOTHER tumbler even though my dongbangshinki one is ruined!!!! :( stupid china products. the coffee that i put in wasnt even THAT hot!
so today i got maligned by @changxning and @ntylttly. HELLO it was just my way of displaying affection!! okay okay i know that it's not the only way. but still!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhish.
so @ameliability and i ran 5 rounds today with some core. i am going to train my leg-lifts back to Expert i tell you. now i'm like Novice until 不行了. it's just so ridiculous how like 3 months of no choir just totally takes away my muscles HAHA.
i've been thinking of what i should do after Alevels, but then i realise it's crap and i should stop it. why am i even thinking of enjoying when i havent even suffered?! this sucks. i am just not hiong enough.
ugh i hate this education system where the people who miss a step once and fall into the cracks. and the worst thing is, they will never be able to get back up. they'll just be stuck at that middle tier, breathing in second-hand air.
okay i know i should be okay with not being fantastic because not EVERYONE can be, and life is just naturally unfair. if it's not me, then it will never be me. i imagine my mum telling me this if i confess to her as well. BUDDEN! looking at my mum, the only reason why she is so happy is because she really cannot be bothered that her life just surrounds the rest of US, and that she has my dad as her husband and LOVES her to hell. but i can never do that. i cannot settle living my life for somebody else (okay i know it's too early to say cus i haven had kids yet) but no way i'll give up on my music and going out with friends or whatever. heck i'll totally just manage a bizners from home! and wth, i'll never be able to find a guy like my dad la. dont even need to talk about kids. no WAIT. i'll be left on the shelf. dont even get me started on THAT. i'll be like left on the top of the shelf where all the dust gathers and i live my little own life la.
i'll be like the dust collecting at the top of my cupboard in my hostel room cus @eleij and i are too lazy to clean it up.
i'll be like Big Sue who watches Korean dramas and scream at the computer being a fat fan old woman my whole life.
i'll have to depend on my PARENTS for money. oh i hate people who do that.
i'll end up like all of my mum's friends who just CANNOT find ANYONE. and they're not even being picky. the most important thing is that they are all frikkin FUNNY people. not that i'm being self-absorbed or whatever, but that's closest to a character that i'll ever get to. so that's my future i guess.
I SHOULD JUST TURN INTO A LESBIAN LIKE @ameliability AND @nq_loves_lindsay
;)
laughed at 7:15:00 PM