Monday, August 22
i think we all have to agree that my procrastinating skills are fab.
so anw last wk passed in a flash. so the only thing i rmb doing was having my dad's birthday dinner. JAP FOOD! i think my dad would actually prefer a normal zhichar dinner where he would pay lesser for good food. but judging from his love for my mother, he lets her decide. it has always been like that. it's not that my mom doesnt like chinese food! it's just that it's what we eat everyday and so i guess a special occasion will call for special food. my mom is so freaking lucky. she can throw a bitch fit and my dad just takes it aaalllllllllll in. sometimes my sister blames him for marrying her cus now we have to put up with her unpredictable tantrums (it ttly sounds like my sister actually). but we all understand she's "just saying" cus yknw the ifhedintmarryherwewouldntbecreated shit.
so school life's just like that. actually i dont know why i'm complaining. i actually enjoy the studying! just that i cant keep up with the speed and rigour i'm supposed to have, so it's frustrating.
okay yinshan's "HELLO!" just stopped my train of thought.
on a side note, apparently if we estimate, the work down to stop a train is damn hell huge. I guess it's true if it's a like an MRT train midway of two stations, cause it's speed would be the highest there! but what if it's the freaking LRT? it's hell slow i swear.
okay so anw as i was saying, i cannot put a finger on (love this phrase) what i feel about studying. it's definitely more complicated, but i dont like how other people are affecting my emotions! i'm not that type of person, but it seems like i am now and that's even more frustrating. Gone were the days when PE meant "SHIT la wth. early in the morning run 2.4?!" or "Yaayyyyyy cant wait to play soccer/chokeball/ball!". today, PE means potential energy in physics, productive efficiency in econs(i still dno how to explain this) and apparently Presidential Elections as well!
and ohya, i like Tony Tan. One: because he's the only guy i know Two: my dad likes him Three: he's surname is Tan like me. HAHA. okay so i'm doing some advertising here for him because his SaikangWarrior gave me one of his flyers (too bad it doesnt work. i still cant fly. [omg i'm off my game. repeating lame comments]). but he's not bad! like not extremely rich to not be able to think for the lower-income, and he has actually made some changes! Go read his flyer for yourself. alright but i don't really agree with his insistence(is there such a word?!) on like, the for Singaporeans part, cus i really understand why we need the foreign talent. okay maybe it's cus i'm in the "Top 10%" (not anymore) that's why i'm okay with it. ahh well but maybe being pro-Singaporean is part of his plan to get more votes. so! VOTE FOR TONY TAN! not like this is much cus the only extra vote u'll probably get from this is like one: @ameliability since she's the only one who'll probably come here.
Today, i have a thesis:
Who you are and what you accomplish is dependent on your emotions, but your emotions can be controlled because emotions and psychological.
argh it's a lousy statement cus it only applies to me.
i thought u were different but turns out u are just like the rest of them. no wait, it mean just like HIM. it turned out right with him cus we had time to make it right, but between you and me, no we do not. i dont like how u take me for granted and how u think laughing it off will make it alright. ohyes it makes it alright cus i cant do anything abt it but it doesnt make me feel much better. you keep going around doing this because you can, and more importantly you know you can. i know too many people like you to be seriously affected by this but u just dint seem to be like them. so this is me erasing u off my may-be special list and onto my normal list. it's figurative, but it's representative. nah i'm just disappointed. see!
By not giving myself a chance to get hurt, i step out of a relationship before i go too deep. i know it may be missing out on chances but i'd take the chance of missing out on chances rather than take the risk of utter disappointment. Carol says "We guard our hearts." In her context it means integrity, life, and virginity. But i think applies to our emotions as well. To save myself from the hurt, constant analysis(es) is absolutely necessary.
but then again there are some emotions that you are unable to control.
Like my take on studies. i still cannot figure out what kind of attitude do i want to bring with me alongside this mugging. people around me all have their goals, people who're finished with this system tell me how they've done it without losing themselves. my mom tells me to just forget it. i should just listen to my heart (like a Mulan) and do what i always do right? well, it's to just put in my best and see whatever, comes out of it and there's no need to get a scholarship. so technically i shld just try my best in whatever i do and believe in myself as i always have and it has proven to actually improve my grades. but nowadays i keeeeeep getting influenced by the teachers. the two of you give me an impression that u think that i cannot make it. yes i know, there's no need to be subtle about it. well u can think all u want but i dont like how u condemn me about it. i know i cannot be affected by it and i'm not supposed to be affected by t and i usually dont get affected by it. the stupid Rosenthal efffect. now that i know about it i let it happen on me.
it's like getting your future told. when you know what ur future is, u strive to fulfill it. it's just stupid. that's why i think Voldemort is actually quite humanised by this act. it's all psychological i tell you!
i need to calm down.
okay yay rant over.
so was listening to Simple Plan the other day and i was thinking how Addicted would sound like to a girl when her boyfriend is singing it to her when he's trying to make things up-
Boy: "I heard you're doing okay~ but i wantchew to know~"
Girl: whatever.
Boy: "I'm a dick-"
Girl: yaduh! finally you get it!
Boy: "I'm addicted to you."
Girl: OH.
and to AYYSIAN: until now, i still try and see if i have superpowers.
laughed at 1:08:00 PM