Thursday, October 27
Regret is the only thing that is pushing me to work hard right now. I don't want to come out of this with bad results and thinking I could have done better. I actually predict that I'll still have regrets when I take back my cert, but when do we ever not regret? In my opinion, there is no such thing as "I've tried my best." since when was there a moment in life when it really, in all aspects, 'cldnt have been better'? Oh I don't know... Time dedication is one thing, but concentration and productivity is another. I simply cannot stand (comic irony is that I study sitting down heh) sitting (HA! Juxtaposition of positions! [ha! Wordplay!!!]) (as u can see, I've been doing math and having fun with the brackets nowadays heh) at my table, staring hard, and nothing is going in! As ctan would say, it's matter of mental stamina. I couldn't agree more, but well, I don't do it. Call it sloth, but I prefer to think of it as functioning better with positive studying. I cannot push myself with all of the 'what would happen if I dont do well'. Happy studying is less efficient but i feel happier. I think I can put in more effort (believe me. We ALWAYS can.) but it is always very difficult to pull yourself out of it once you're deep in bad grades. It's like the pervertic version of doing well in a subject and ending up working the hardest for it afterwards. I've to learn to face reality and disappointment. And also to look at that glass of water at a different angle.
laughed at 12:07:00 AM