Tuesday, November 1
the things i do nowadays are just: eat shit sleep study and daydream. In other words, besides my basic needs, i study and daydream. You have no idea how easy it is to look somewhere else and then suddenly, BOOMZ! you're lost in Candyland! And what better to daydream about than post alvl life? I have already made a list of what to do aft alvls! (besides my basic commitments of course). Yes, i knw it's misleading, thinking about the fun i'm going to have in the future instead on concentrating on my current 'joys'. But we all know that we never know how impt sth is until we lose it right? I actually believe that i'll miss studying aft all this ends. Not mugging, but studying. It's actually relatively stress-free (minus the exams) compared to workinglife i think, when it's u're livelihood u're working for.
Besides having fun, i thought about how aft alvls were over, it would be like the ceremony of growing up. Like really, officially, being GROWNED UP. When i was still 17, i could still make excuses for acting stupidly despite living for a whole lengthy period of 17 years. Okay grownups say that it's peanuts, but no matter what age we are, dont we just think that it has been a longlong time? Ok, under 15yos are not taken into consideration. It was as though donning the school uniform was a sign that we are still kids when we are actually not anymore! A simple sign is dressing. I'm semi-stressed cus i know aft alvls, it'd be really really really weird to go out in a simple shirt and shorts anymore. Even my peers have some sort of variety and individuality in their dressing(salad)! Okay i guess my lack of identity is also a type of identity, but noooo i seriously need to find my dress sense! It's sad huh, that as u grow older, u lose the license to be carefree. It's like it's mandatory to feel stressed as you grow older. Like some kind of pre-requisite for being an adult or sth like that. Society is lame.
laughed at 8:26:00 PM