Monday, June 25
as i have already said before, the night is a dangerous time. you think about things that usually bother you less.
it's really irritating because i know i should be asleep. (like how it's 12 now and i wanted to sleep at 11) it's effing emo and emotionally unhealthy and i'm sick of it. but i know my problem. i know lying in my bed trying to sleep will just make matters worse. i think more. it has gone way beyond the point where i can tell myself to forget it and go to bed.
so what is bothering me on this
wonderful night, you may ask? well. it's my fats. what the fuck. really the eff word. fuck. i dont like using such crude words and after i use them i get so embarassed and regretful. but this time i'm really angry. angry at myself. accidentally saw one of my photos from the past and i've realised. I'VE GROWN FATTER. not like from sec1 no. it's that period when i "slimmed down" to my minimum (am i even describing this properly?) and then i'm back on the fat roll. what the fuck germaine tan u think u got alot of space to do this issit?!
and whatever you guys say. to hell. i deserve all this shit. just because i put all my pity shit on you it doesnt mean you can do this to me. U HAVEN EVEN GONE THROUGH ANYTHING CLOSE.
laughed at 11:55:00 PM