Friday, April 19
wow i've had a really bad week.
i dont know what type of week this is. i'm technically not facing so much deadlines as compared to last week but this week feels so much worse.
people always write notes to me: aww germaine u're so sweet and funny and nice and i'm so happy when i'm with you. so if i believe those notes, generally, i am sorta making them happy. i have a few friends that say its kinda awkward when i'm in a bad mood or pissed.
and i feel very bad cos i feel the mood drop. but it's not my fault that i have unhappy moments right? wtf so i permanently need to be happy. because the people ard me feel awkward and i feel bad making them feel awkward. so horrible right me. feel like committing suicide then still must put a on a smile to make others feel less awkward.
maybe cos exams are coming and i havent been having enough sleep nor being very effective plus my issues pick the RIGHT time to all come up again and i havent been working out.
but Gen just called me fat. it's not only the joking insensitivity that got to me but the fact that he probably really meant it as well. so we were going along about how we should present this part of our presentation. then he told khalis "when we exchange places i can point at her (me) face then you can point at her (me again of course) stomach."
wah i've never crashed and burned so badly. i've thought of many scenarios where i could come up with a comeback for someone who calls me fat but i wasnt prepared for this.
laughed at 12:02:00 AM