Saturday, July 6
realised that my last post was my french post. rhymes with french toast teehee.
so anw i've been back for about 2 weeks already. and life has been good. i've been catching up with a few old friends and it seems nice. come to think of it it's just rep friends that i havent caught up with. but it seems like a few of them seem to prefer to not be so close to me i guess? but then again, they may be thinking the same way about me so who am i to say anything. but then again again, there's this particular person, i half thrashed out with him before school ended. we didnt resolve it but i've said my piece. well, if he doesnt feel anything then orh ok. i cant do anything to make u stay.
post camp. haha took me so long to blog that it's already post-usp camp.
oh i've learnt so much from my freshies. so thankful for this bunch. what would i do without u guys? i've said my piece to them, twice, but i'm gna say it again.
i went into camp being so nervous and scared that i would get unenthu freshies, but even more nervous thati would ruin the camp for freshies or they would find me stupid and lame. otw to school lydia and i were like "oh please please please dont give me awkward freshies. please give me enthu freshies" this was our first time as GLs and omg i had no idea what to expect. i just remembered what i learnt from sunny during hall camp. i've learnt that camp belongs to the freshies. there is nothing better than them creating the mood themselves. i can rah rah all i want but if the freshies are lepak then so be it. they can enjoy the camp nevertheless.
never thought that i would learn this lesson so soon tho. i have to say that my freshies arent the most enthusiastic bunch. we are all awkward in our own way and we aint that good in cheers or games either. I like to win. i mean, who doesnt? throughout field games i kept cheering for my freshies, hoping that they would receive my cheers. we didnt have marvelous victories but the freshies had fun i hope! by the end of day one i learnt that as a GL, i dont need to win games to win as a GL. as long as my freshies are happy, i have won. and i dont want to teach my freshies that they have to win in order to have fun too. that was what i learnt from sunny and i am so grateful he taught me that. so much that i want my freshies to learn that too.
the next day was beach games. we did not win many games up until then and i of course was losing my voice from talking in that stoopiak voice the night before to all the blindfolded freshies. (speaking of which, some of us had to stand in as girls cos towards the end there werent enough girls. i really talked to some of the guys properly. actually we were supposed to kajiao them and i'm sure many of the guy seniors had lotsa fun HAHA but i actually had a proper chat with some of them. somehow when people cannot see who i am i feel more comfortable haha dont need to live up to the germaine that people think i am ;) DONT COME AND TALK BS TO ME ABOUT NOT NEEDING TO DO THAT IRL. just dont. aiyuh. if only they didnt have enough guys and we had to talk to the girl freshies.)
ok so beach games. at the beginning we were losing so morale was low. and my freshies well, they arent the noisiest or enthu-est bunch and honestly cheering aint our thing. my freshies abit blur blur de :') #proudmummoment when it came to the tug-of-war we were up against this og that had the hugest guy in camp. omg u should have seeen my guy freshies. their jaws just all dropped to the ground. then i was like "guys, dont worry. tug-of-war is skill one. they got one hulk only. no need scared!" but tbh on the inside i was quite scared for them also. but guess what. we won! TWO TIMES SOMEMORE. it was so heartwarming u know, to see the girls go all out. really. ok the guys too but it was the first time that i saw all my freshies dig it in together. so proud of them that they finished i had a small wna-cry moment but i recovered HAHA.
at the end of the day otw to syc i realised i learnt two more other things: my freshies had a peaceful and kind heart. the things that i see so many other people struggle with, well my freshies naturally had it. every single freaking one of them. i could see that there were a few freshies in my og that would typically be outcasted but nope all my freshies accepted everyone. that is actually easier to achieve than a peaceful heart.
idk how to say this but my freshies have this inner peace that i've been struggling to have for so long. there are many times i am just looking at the pails or the scores very closely and loki has won so many times. but no, my freshies never complain. they know that they have won too. but they are so at peace about it. and other freshies get violent and play cheat. but no my freshies dont do the an eye for an eye shit. during the water bomb when they had to use pails. other freshies came to overturn my freshies' pails just like that. but no my freshies didnt get angry. they just went to refill. idk i just find it hard to not get angry in these situations. or at least a little bit frustrated. but i dont see the slightly-frustrated-face change into ohwell-lemme-get-over-it face. it's just the ohwell-lemme-go-and-refill face. and when they see other ogs cheat to get an advantage, they still play fair and square. they know that they are not the fiercest or strongest og, but they still go right into the middle of the game for every game. i am so proud of them.
at the end of the camp during pizza all the ogs were playing games. we had a htht right on the spot. (even though we already had one the previous night) i am so so sooooo happy that my freshies enjoyed the camp. some learnt things, some just enjoyed it. well i'm just darn happy that they enjoyed it.
they dont need to win every game. they dont need to own every cheer i teach them. they dont need to stay awake on all the bus rides. they dont need to be the noisiest og. they dont need to be extroverts by the end of the camp. as long as they are happy, i am happy.
so thankful for them that i grew not only as a gl but as a person. i regret not knowing them even more, sad that the camp only lasted for 3d2n. i'm just hoping with all my might that i will get to know some of them even better next time.
but meanwhile, i gotta pack for maldives, learn my choir scores, and get ready for rep camp. i'm afraid that that may be my biggest challenge ever. but, bring it on.
ps, it's fucking embarassing when u get tossed into the ocean and fail. :(
laughed at 11:41:00 PM