Monday, August 19
i really need to stop this: running away from my feelings. shutting them away once i feel a teeny bit of them peeping through.
ok on second thought, i need to keep up the good work. this wall i've built for so long and worked so hard is actually serving its purpose. and calming down i think it's actually doing me more good than harm. i can do this. shutting away everything else so that i'm just plain dense. i can be superficial. i'm sure i can.
cant wait for the school term to kick into high gear. cant believe that i'm saying this but yes. when i'm busier i dont think so much. and i'd honestly rather let my body take the rap than my heart.
and i miss ahlian. suddenly miss it so much haha. maybe cos of the people eating supper in front of me.
oh the past week was horrible. stomach flu is officially the worstest thing to have. suddenly it is a luxury to eat and shit properly. i'm not totally well but slowly and surely, i will recover. i'm sure. and after that, i can have all the ahlians that i want :)))
laughed at 11:37:00 PM