Tuesday, July 8
saw a post that someone put up on facebook.
20 Reasons Why Girls Should Enjoy Being Single In Their 20s
and a few of the points are what i want for myself in university and hopefully longer.
1. Be spontaneous.
yeah i want to try many things, stepping out of my comfort zone. as cliche as it sounds, i want to be brave. i want to do things and fail. doing things knowing the high possibility of failure is scary. i havent gotten over that yet. as much as i am trying to do now, i still feel that it is not enough. maybe not the amount but my fulfillment. i still feel that something is missing. dont know what it is yet but i will find out soon.
2. Travel.
according to the article, it's "one of the best ways to discover who you are, you'll meet lifelong friends and make lifelong memories along the way" yes lifelong memories i agree but i dont think it's the only way to discover who you are. i think you discover who you are when you think that you already know who you are; it will be when you least expect it. lifelong friends i dont think so. i'm so jaded by the topic of friends i'm just like "whatever will be will be man". people say i travel alot, yeah i like to travel but as of now i'm still at the tourist level. i'm just having fun. i havent reached the adventurous yet because i feel that i am still not street smart enough. as of now, i shall still be the tourist. but yes travelling is fun.
3. Spend as much quality time with friends and family as you can.
yeah my family. i feel like, no matter what, there is never enough time to go around. the funny thing is that people quantify how much they mean to you by how much time you spend with them, how often they appear on your instagram, facebook. yeah that's sad. so it's never-ending. you are never going to spend "enough" time with people; friends or family. and isnt it sad to make the mental note: okay i think i've spent enough time with my family. that's 4 days this week. now i need to spend 1 afternoon with this friend, another night with that friend, maybe 2 more outings with this group. i cant say that i am completely not guilty. i dont know what is natural anymore haha. wouldnt it be nice for everything to fall nicely into place? NAHHHH HAHAHA
but yes i do agree that we need to consciously make time for people. doesnt mean that it makes the time you spend with the person any less valuable as well. i'm just saying.
i tend to shun away from people when i grow too attached to them. it's my way of maintaining my expectations so that other people dont fall short. because expectations rarely match and it's also my fault when what i expect to do for you not equals to what i expect you to do for me. it's just as simple as that. a mismatch.
4. Watch rom-coms and binge watch "Girls" and "Sex and the City" because you can.
no i cant.
i cant because after doing everything else in that list i have no more time to watch all my dramas and sitcoms omg too many shows too little time
5. work hard, play harder and take time in between to reflect.
YES THIS IS ME THIS IS ME THIS IS ME. still working on the work hard though. and the play harder. play hard is ok. it's the harder part.
6. Learn to be okay alone.
ohyes this. the thing is i dont think i can ever have enough of being alone. i think everyone is okay being alone as long as they dont look at facebook or instagram or twitter cos when they see that other people are going out, suddenly you feel like going out too. BALANCE is what we're looking for hahaha -in master shifu's voice- the yin and the yang bla bla INNER PEACEEEE. #kungfupandareference
7. Go on as many dates as you want.
idk. now dating might be seen as being together. i feel that dating is what saves you from a heartbreak. spending uncontracted time with this person, to see if you are okay with being together. rather than getting together, and finding out that you guys cant get along, when all this time you can just date. of course, the "official" status makes a whole lot of difference but i mean, if you are meant to be together, what harm is dating going to do? and it reaffirms you choice. whether it turns out bad or good in the end, at least you know that at that point in time, you made the most probable decision.
8. Did i mention travel? You must travel!
yes you did. stop trying to make up points.
9. Read hundreds of really great novels.
i guess this comes under the alone time and/or drama time. it's either books or dramas right?
10. Figure out what your values are because eventually, you'll realise how important it is to find a partner who shares those values.
yeah trudat. but the thing is, you are never going to reach a conclusion. you are going to change along the way, for better for worse. whatever the magnitude is, you are never going to be prepared for it.
13. Enjoy the freedom of being able to make decisions based solely on what you want.
yeah having never been in a relationship before i guess this is something i have to decide based on hearing about other people's relationships. it's true though. like somehow being attached means your decisions affects your other half. even more than how it would affect your family! so i guess this point is true.
15. stay out late and sleep in as long as you like - who's judging?
ermmm my parents?!! HAHAHA. but yeah such a lifestyle can either mean you are a party girl (which has negative connotations to it i really dont know why. people just assume you are not going to be careful) or a nerd who stays at home and facebook and tumblr all day all night.
as much as i agree with many of the points above, i agree that it's easier to accomplish all of that when you are single. especially number 13. but idk why you cant achieve it while being attached as well! ok maybe with the exception of number 13, i feel like you can achieve the others with an other half. like finding out your values and who you are. why cant you go on this journey with someone else as well?
i'm okay with being single, like i mean. if it comes then it comes lor. but the reasons that they give for being single are just weird hahahahh. itsounds like a forever alone girl trying to convince herself that nobody loves her the way she wants to be loved and that is fine. yes there is nothing wrong with it but you're going about it the wrong way my dear. dont need to overthink it and come up with 20 reasons. whether you're single or attached, you just need to love and respect yourself, give yourself the credit you deserve and you'll be okay.
i think.
laughed at 12:01:00 PM